I am a lousy blogger. These days, I am so lousy I basically only blog in my mind. Sometimes, I would open the Blog Now page, stare at it, and will the laptop to type out my thoughts. Crazy.

Life is hectic as hell for a dental student in her clinical years. Hectic and stressful. Won't blog much, until I gain the power of Professor X.

Until then, I shall bid you adieu. For people who want to suscribe to this blog, I say no need lah. You'll get nothing here wan. Only gibberish, that is, when I feel like writing. This post is a very good example. You have read thus far and what do you get? Nothing right? Exactly. Don't waste your time reading these lousily assembled groups of words, masquerading as a valid post. There are not even eye-candy photos since I do not believe in narcissism as an alternative for intelligent wordy posts (yes, I may be lazy, but I am not fluffy)

Go read the FHM or Playboy and you'd get more knowledge out of it.

I must admit. Conversations regarding her prior to this involved only gossips and critiques on how she led her life. How she was trying to break into the showbiz arena. And such conversations only always ended with a superior feeling that "she's-a-joke". She, was my junior in secondary school; more an acquaintance than a friend. This, is the tragic fall which took her life yesterday.

She was so young - merely 22 years old. I'm 22 (because the birthday has not arrived =P) and still sometimes, I feel pissed that people are not listening to me just because I'm young-thus-clueless. I want to see more, do more, learn more just so I can conquer the world and be king. I bet she had wanted the same thing. Unfortunately, she had passed up her chances.

If her death teaches me one thing, it is that I should not do things which will cause pain to my loved ones. I believe that when you love someone, you do not make them worry and cry for you. No parents should ever witness their children on the cold hard surface of the autopsy table. No parents, none.

News of her death came to me, like a soothing balm, at a time when I was so disgruntled at my own life. After the shock subsided, my temper was brought down by the reminder of how fragile life is. University being a total jackass is but a speck of dust in my eyes. A couple of blinks and I will be able to see and march forward again. Nothing should stop me. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Hiyaaakkk!

Rest in peace, YT. It's funny how this is the only monologue I have with you. It's even funnier how I ridiculed your life but is so affected by your death.

Friends are something I treasure a lot. The thing is, it is hard to pick the real ones from the sea of faces I see every day.

There can be faces who smile and laugh with you but whose hands wield a sharp knife behind your head; there can be hurtful words which are meant to change you for the better or just to break your spirit; laughters that come sincerely; empty praises for shallow reasons; hugs that touch even the deepest of your soul; and crocodile tears.

It is a mesh-pot of characters. Very difficult to single out the core ingredients from the additives which make the broth so tasty yet are harmful for the body. Those real friends I know, I cherish and hold on tight to them because I am afraid if I let them go, all I'll be left with are actors. And as the big journey continues, I am pretty sure I'll encounter more of the latter than former. Actors playing their role while I play mine in a continuous play called 'Friendship'. Imagine hard enough and then you will believe it to be real. But it isn't.

Sometimes, I wish everyone could just let down their masks. Go back to the time when we were children where words and action came out unfiltered. Then again, we need to age. The best solution is to grow up and get tough. Give your best but expect less.